Suffering from major backaches. Will visit the doctor when I've got nothing to do. Which will probably be when I'm about to die of pain; soon. Papers weren't such killers as the world imagined it to be. No wonder my brother said whoever who fails O's are bloody stupid people. Do hope I don't fall in that category.

Ben & Jerry's with Syl, Yuan and May. Phish Food!

Been eating alot these few days. I'm gonna be like Yuan one day. I have no idea why. I can just happily eat 5 meals a day when in the past, I barely eat a complete 3. Getting fatter? Why should you bother if I get fat. I live my life the way I want it to be.

Threw away my SS notes and other SS related materials. Will be of no use to me anymore anyway. I don't even want to keep it as memories. I have never had any good memories of SS. Okay, probably that one essay which I got 11/13 for and Ms Yati gave me a "BIG IMPROVEMENT" sticker for it. Other than that, SS's pretty much a waste of my time. Who needs to know why Venice fell. Or why the British Welfare State didn't work out as planned. Or why there is a need to think creatively. I don't.

Everytime I mug alone in the wee hours of the morning, I can just cry once or twice. Fuck lah. Three fucking months and I still am not that strong yet. And of course, I cry alone. I'm going to die alone miserably. Whatever. But ya, I feel so fucking loserish everytime after I cry and I can't concentrate studying. I forgot who has been telling me that he's getting uglier by the day but looks doesn't even matter you know. If everybody goes for looks, all the ugly shits can just go fuck themselves and then commit suicide. It's the heart that matters. I so want to get over him but I can't. What's there about him that I still am longing for? Probably everything.

Eh. I like this place. haha I can just say everything because I know that he'd never find this(: Rocks eh. At least as long as he never finds this, things won't be ever weirder than how they are now. Bloody hell. I feel so non-existent whenever he's around. He talks to everybody else except for me. I do hope that I can kill myself to not be around and keep on hoping that he'd say at least something to me.

Ji Zhen's still the same. Hah. Raymond, jizhen and me were talking about how we've changed. Okay, Jizhen's still the same lah. The same smile, the same happy happy face. LOL. Shawn Ng has slimmed down quite alot. Can see the change. Haha. And I suddenly remembered Rong Bin. This tall tall guy who was called Long Bean-.- Ahh. Aaron! and Roy! LOL. Okay whatever.

Looking forward to Kampung Hut and Pasir Ris! Love<3

You know what I want for my birthday?



I want things to change like how it used to be one year ago.

And I want an us again.
7:37 PM