I think I crushed his heart. Or upset him. Either ways, it's bad. I was feeling sore last night somehow and he smsed me while I was feeling sore. With all those lovelove words etc,I felt pissed. He knew I had nothing for him yet..argh fuck. I told him off, big time and he told me he's sorry and everything and now he's going to treat me like a normal friend. Damn it lah. I feel so fucking guilty now. He's been so nice to me.

Few days ago, we were sms-ing and I randomly told him "I'd love whoever who'd send Starbucks to my house now" and he asked what's my favourite. He kept dropping hints that he'd do it but I didn't want to believe and 45min later, he was there. Standing with my Caramel Java Chip Frap. Oh my gosh. He's such a sweetie but even before telling him I needed Starbucks, I told him that my heart's still with yw. After such a long time. And he still brought it for me. He's frigging nice and fuck, I'm so guilty now.

But it's so true. That my heart's still with yw. Not that he'd know the existence of this blog anyways. He probably wont stumble over this, I hope. But nothing'll happen even if he reads this so whatever lah. It's been almost three months and the huge hole in my heart hasn't decreased in size. Can you believe it? For those of you who know me, my heart directions changes like fucking fast previously. But there's that something about yw that makes me feel so special when I was with him and I do miss that feeling. He really has a special spot in my heart which hasn't ever been discovered. And yea, the fact that no one has ever promised to stop loving me only when I've stopped loving him just makes things worst. I miss yw. A pity that he'll never know):

A huge huge hole in my heart.

Guilty and sad? Ahh. Retribution? Whatever.

Helped directed the SJ+NCC open house performance. Love those kids(: Love my NCOs too. NCC NCOs are such assholes. Tsk tsk. They treat their cadets like dogs okay. So bloody evil lah. But they're cooperative, so that's a good thing. Haha. Their kids listen to SJ NCOs more than them. Loser. Heh. But nevertheless, I had one of the most carefree days since quite some time ago. I miss my darlings! Haha. Some of them have evolved from being the people with the worst attitude problems to being the major retards. Thank you for carrying on the name. LOL.

I should probably stop blogging and keep all my emotions to myself.
5:56 PM