I had some emotional disorder after training. Now I see the point of what the current batch of NCOs have been telling me. What's the whole point of training them when they don't even want to join competition and join for the sake of joining and thinking that they'd lose even before going for it? I know it's my duty to carry on what the officers are doing but at some point of time, it caught me thinking how much my efforts are going down the drain. I know I may not be the best trainer around but fgs, I tried my best. Gao said she'll only return 2 years later. Will there still be a TMSSJAB? I don't blame her for thinking that way. It's just the juniors' attitudes that probably got in the way of her passion for SJAB. I feel like doing the same too. Returning 2 years later. But then again, the current sec1s are also showing the same kind of attitude. So when will it stop? Probably it's the NCOs gen 05's fault for the whole mess. But we lacked guidance. No one came back for us. We were left halfway hanging like some morons trying out new stuffs. I feel so disappointed everytime I hear the competition team members say they're going to lose. What kind of mentality is that? Does it mean that they feel that their trainers are far too lousy so they can't beat other teams? And now I don't see the whole point of going to OTC anymore. I don't know if I should carry on the good works of the current alive officers. My burning passion for TMSSJAB will gradually die down if I have to face this kind of juniors for the subsequent trainings. Because no one around me is going through the same thing, no one understands. Help.

My throat's been crap since last night.

I just need help)':
12:28 PM