Kevin told me about the Advance trainees. If you think four trainings is stupid, think of the many hours and days of planning for one stupid training. Ingrates, I tell you.

One of the nights, I dreamt my mum passed away. The feeling when I woke up was horrible and beyond words and yesterday while making my way to my grandma's to fetch my mum, I teared a little thinking I am the ingrate now. My mum has done so much for me yet I haven't been showing my appreciation to her. Probably that's why my cadets are doing the same to me. Retribution, no? Thinking of my mum do saddens me sometimes because I know what I'm going through is a tenth of what she went through recently. I know she misses my brother and sometimes, she tears while thinking of him. But there's nothing that I have done to stop her from tearing.

I am such a screwed daughter.


i dare not meet you in the eye,
for fear of falling deeper.
and every time you call out my name,
my heart cries because you'll never know,
you'll never know.

and i'll wait till we graduate,
cos i know then,
we'll bid our goodbyes,
our goodbyes for the rest of our lives.

the mucically-inclined, emo you.
1:15 PM