My accidental &your fatal.

2008-08-26T14:06:00.003+08:00

I feel uncomfortable blogging my personal stuff for the world to see.
Moving to some secluded area where you can still find me but some will be password protected posts for loved ones.

thank you blogger and to the new site...

2008-08-25T19:50:00.001+08:00

Constant headaches since Friday. And my mum's getting worried.
It attacked during Econs and my handwriting was by far the worst ever. I couldn't read them.

ZZ: Nazurah makes sure her handwriting is nice. Nice, not only legible.

But today marked a difference.

That being said, I called Mak for comfort right after collecting our belongings. The sound of comfort and I rushed to meet her. She's this little kind soul who's been out helping relatives yet getting trashed at behind her back.

If only there's LJ cut here, I would so use it.
[Okay, let's pretend there's LJ cut.]

(BLOGGER CUT) don't press it, just read on if you want.
Aunty A pretends to be nice to my mum though speaking ill of her behind her back. Aunty B is nice to everyone and knows what Aunty A is up to. Aunty B just underwent operation and seeked help from Aunty A to look after her 2 very young ill-disciplined kids but Aunty A is too busy working and she insists that Aunty B not ask my mum for help. The problem with Aunty A is that she wants to control the whole family including Aunty B's. The bigger problem is that my grandparents are so in love with her or something because she's richer. Their definition of richer is that they own a car and can bring them around. WTF. (They scolded me for going into JC and praised my cousin, son of Aunty A, for his hardwork though he failed his N Levels. FUCK.) They listen to Aunty A though my dad's the eldest and not listen to my mum. Aunty A loves the authority given to her. Exactly acts like an authoritarian. More like dictatorship. She likes taking care of all issues and hates it when my mum wants to help cos my mum won't listen to her. SHE'S NOT REASONABLE 33% OF THE DECISIONS SHE MAKE. So she decided to brainwash everyone and made my mum look bad. CHEEBS. My mum tolerates all their nonsense. More of hers and my grandparents'. It didn't concern me until it reached the point when she became totally unreasonable. She didn't allow Aunty B to ask my mum for help to care for the kids and told Aunty B to let my 73year old granddad care for the kids. 4 and 3, respectively, mind you. These are spoilt brats. Totally spoilt. What a pea brain right? 73 to chase and run after two kids. My fuck. Even I can't do it without slapping their faces. She insisted my mum not get involved. NO BRAIN. Not even pea, at this point of time. Aunty B really needed help and called my mum secretively and my mum's been travelling to and fro, my late grandma's house to cook for my unmarried uncle, to my grandparents' place to pick naughty daughter and bring her to SGH, then she'd go off to Saint Andrew's nursing to visit her friend so that his wife can let off her woes. Who will listen to her woes? My dad? You gotta be kidding me. He just reached home at 11 from overseas today and straightaway went to work. Of course I know why he's so eager to go back to work. (I'm probably the one who held him back in this family and by now you should know what's happening.) Seriously, who can she turn to? My sister's been returning home super late in response to my mum's reprimand. (She doesn't act like a 21 year old so shut up when I speak ill of her because you know nuts what's happening.) Probably my brother and I are the ones really making her smile by our nonsensical antics. But my brother's so far away and I'm so afraid of disappointing her for this Prelims.
I believe God is giving her the strength...
(end of Blogger cut)

My gosh, I really needed to let off what's in my bottle and I should stop crying and feeling so helpless now.

Thank you Desmond for reminding me I have strong feelings for people.

2008-08-23T14:24:00.001+08:00

I studied what I needed to and yet again, I don't know how to link to the question. My weakness is question analysis.

I've got two months to work on it.
Thank you TPJC for having Prelims earlier(:

mark, just study laa..you got two papers tomorrow.

2008-08-20T21:22:00.000+08:00

Lambcrap.

I did myself injustice yesterday for Southeast Asian History and I couldn't redeem myself for Maths today despite consuming midnight energy till I had only 3 hours of sleep.

I will do well for Friday's International History.

And the many more papers to come.

"shit..i never do alot of things"
guitarstrumming...
"eh..nothing"
guitarstrumming...
"too low ah?"
"your guitar like sound quite rock-ish"
"this is the original key"
strummmm...

SHOULDN'T WE NOT CONFERENCE NOW SINCE YOU GUYS HAVE PAPERS TOMORROW!

"say please"
"sorry"

WTH MARK CHAN AND DESMOND!

spoilt& wasted.

2008-08-19T20:30:00.002+08:00

My points are at the fingertips. I know them well, I know them hard. I couldn't apply it to the question, I thought there're other points that I didn't study because it was a last minute study.

If only I could turn back time...

if you could see me now;

2008-08-16T16:40:00.002+08:00

Caught up with Olympics via the papers.
Am I proud to be a Singaporean.

Mum and I have had squabbles over Singapore vs Malaysia. She's always supporting them because she's born there but I'm always putting them down. No offence there but you would expect more medals from them since they're much bigger than Singapore with much larger population size. Don't get me talking on Singapore being a migrant city. LOL.

Life is fragile.
Aunt's dad passed away few days ago while she's in Perth with my uncle as he's doing his degree. We didn't expect it to be this soon.

Printed close to a hundred pages for History.
Thank you Mr Ali for posting the good ones much nearer to exams. WOO!

I want to represent Singapore for something good!
If only...

2008-08-15T22:26:00.002+08:00

The long nail was a hindrance and the eraser came to the rescue.

The mind was filled with English words and the kamus came to the rescue.

The girl was hungry and Asian Food Fair came to the rescue.

The A Levels are drawing near but what'll come to the rescue?

your words don't bring me down,
neither do they make me reflect,
so be quiet now.

ADDICTED TO THE IT.

2008-08-12T20:59:00.002+08:00

If I could absorb my studies as well as I did today, I won't freak out considering the time left for A's. But being a normal human being, I'm full of flaws and I've me days of ups and downs. Moods that're ever changing and weariness playing a game with me. I will persevere for this last leg and with the motivation from study-buddy, I will do all I can for the exams.

Thank you Kimmy for the post-it<3

2008-08-10T21:03:00.001+08:00

Productive studying today over at Dippin' Donuts. Small distraction but soon he's gone. I'm really proud of Team Singapore. Though some of them have had their journey cut short, I'm still proud of them. Ah, nation's pride.

National day parade 08. I really like the pre-parade segment, parade itself and the finale. I get really sleepy with all the artistic shows in the middle. I just can't appreciate art so don't blame me for that.

Hearts of red.

Trying hard to act like some band.

Don't ask.

Prem Desmond Gopinathan broke my hairband.

I never knew this place existed till recently.

Okay, supposed to be hidden under notes but...yea, but.

Happy post national day!(:

2008-08-08T20:19:00.000+08:00

My dad's been living a good life.
Golf yesterday, no work.
Barbeque today, half day work.

And my mum's off to some Teachers' Day Dinner leaving me alone watching Olympics Opening.
Very interesting, actually.

BF today(:

2008-08-06T21:28:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to dread 6weekly appointments. Always needing the painkillers at night. (don't worry, only consuming the right amount)

And today shall mark the last day of enough rest before sacrificing sleep for studies.

Talking to my tin makes me happy.
On the surface.
Come on, you gotta be kidding me if you say you can have sustained happiness by talking to your tin.

2008-08-05T15:52:00.003+08:00

I'm going through some funny transition.

If I don't feel like studying, I'll eat and eat whatever there is but if I feel like studying, I'll study and study and won't have the appetite to eat. I rejected Bubble Tea today. Amazing.

Sean counted the days to my Prelims. 10 days. As you can see, I am trying to push myself real hard now. What worries me is that I've almost forgotten all my Year 1 stuffs and I'm struggling to understand my Year 2 workload. God, please save me.

I must have a positive mind.

I want to get my Bs for Prelims, I can get my Bs for Prelims and I will work hard to get my Bs for this Prelims.

Taufik and Amri are with me in this last lap.

2008-08-03T19:37:00.000+08:00

Motherly chores for the weekend and truly enjoyed it. Tiring much but it's all worth the nonsense and joy they bring.

Jog. Wake them up. Made breakfast. Cleaned up after breakfast. My breakfast. History. Cooked lunch. My lunch. Cleaned up after lunch. History. Mingle. Song transfers. Mingle. And they left.
Quite routined but I liked it. (unbeliveably)

I've got to set reasonable targets for myself. I seem to take more time than I should to complete what I want to because I don't set targets for myself. Target setting begins as soon as I know what to do after this.

The pressure for Prelims is beginning to set in. I'm afraid cos I know I need at least a B for both Malay and Econs for the Prelims to go for my teaching internship. But right now, both are miles away from where I am. I need to go faster. But at the same time, I need some hands to hold so that I won't fall while moving faster.

He will show me the right path if I constantly have Him in my mind.
Faith, please stay.

2008-08-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

Been seeing clips of Baihakki and Norfasarie's wedding.

I AM JEALOUS.
Baihakki looked especially cute when he gave the shy reaction when Norfa kissed him.
ARGH.

It's okay. Taufik and I will have our chance soon.

Mini gathering was enjoyable.
Silly things we talked and laughed about the past. How young, stupid and naive I was. LOL.

NANI LOVE.

Motherly Izzati.

SIAN-ed face, having to finish up the food.

Welsonn wasn't that round the last I saw him.

And Teng Han wasn't that skinny the last I saw him.

Welsonn, GuoHao, Izzati, Nani, Nazurah, TengHan.

Eat, sleep, wake up. Aiyo.

<3

"Haven't reach yr standard." Oh my, when was the last time?

All faces caught on camera:

Aiman, GH and Teng.

Tomorrow is History test and I've completed 20% of what I need to know.
Birds.

tight slap;

2008-07-31T21:41:00.001+08:00

Am I pretending to be asleep or have I been snoring away?

Answer lies in me.

Thank you Guo Hao for trying to motivate me.

lighten up;

2008-07-30T19:11:00.001+08:00

I'm at peace with myself.

awkwardness.kills.smiles.

2008-07-28T20:31:00.000+08:00

Welsonn. says:
yes all these lovely ppl
Welsonn. says:
it has been a long time since i eat with lovely ppl

Aww.
Mini gathering this Friday(: Love.

Tonight at 9.30pm, go watch 1988...Segaris Sinar. And tomorrow at 10.30pm, go watch Singapore vs Brazil delayed telecast.
Before that, do all tutorials and study.
LOL.

I plan to finish Religious Fundamentalism book by Wed. I've got 6 more lectures to go. Go Naz! :D
And I plan to study ASEAN by Friday. Go Naz! :D
And I plan to finish all of History by end of next Friday. Go Naz! :D
I'm doing something about these plans, at least.
GO NAZ!:D

Yuck, what was that.

GP was different without Mr Lim! ): Oh gosh. HAHA.
And Ain, stay away from you-know-who! Damn it.

hello readers, please stop visiting.

Can anybody help make things better?

2008-07-27T18:38:00.000+08:00

13 weeks to go.
5 subjects at hand - 2 weeks/subject?
I must be crazy to have procrastinated this much. But I'll make it through.

Happy 18th, Guo Hao(:
You know you'll make it through this obstacle! <3

2008-07-26T23:17:00.002+08:00

My mind's a swirl; literally.
Blood is heavier than the burden of hatred and I find it really dumb to do things that you don't like to please others.
The world should stop this facade.

2008-07-25T15:37:00.002+08:00

I remembered meeting Ms Padma last Saturday for PTC as though it was yesterday. Everything felt like they happened only yesterday but another week has just ended. With a sad note, I must add. "Not another emo post." Nope, not your average emo post.

My plan to Popeyes was shattered because my mum got so PMSy from baking the cakes for my cousin's wedding tomorrow. In the first place, it's my cousin's second wedding so what's the biggie? And the fact that I only see her once a year or two doesn't make situation better. Sucks, I know.

Econs tomorrow and knowing somehow that I'll fail it doesn't make me feel too good, either. Sucks more.

And today is his last day with us.
OHMYGOD.
Days of swooning and melting over a cute GP tutor is so over and I'm going to be back to my sleepy and unreactive self during GP.
Days of getting really excited whenever he talks to me or is nearby is over and I won't have anyting to look forward to in school anymore):
HAHA a wonder how a person can have such an impact on me.
Next year in NTU to see his tattoo. AH! I don't wanna go NUS anymore! I wanna go NTU! Haha, crazy shizz.

The GP intern :D

2008-07-24T19:02:00.002+08:00

I found out what's my problem and my reason for being so down of late.
My crush having a girlfriend is so not the problem. This is hilarious and ridiculous.
Apparently, my problem is internal. I have problems with myself. Self-realisation worked its miracle while lunching.
Thank you to those who cared<3

"Hey Naz! What's nice here?"
Those really cute smiles, that I'll miss from tomorrow on.
And GP lessons were something to look forward to<3
You make me wanna go to NTU! HAHA.

Spot the CBD area in the mist.

2008-07-22T22:18:00.001+08:00

And off Abang flew. A little sad but I wasn't tearing because I know he's coming back in three months:D

Though I'm the youngest of the three, most of the time, I feel like the only child. Went to candy empire today and my dad was being his generous self which was unusual because he's not really into candies. I get most of the benefits when it's only my parents and I. Such wonders of being an only child.
But but but, I'm not spoilt.

ECP tomorrow. I remember the whole place quite vividly since I'v recce-ed there for two years consecutively and this helps because I don't have to follow the route suggestion.

Hello Whitey, welcome to the slim family:D
(MY BROTHER IS LOVE)

Review on '1988...Segaris Sinar'

2008-07-21T23:57:00.001+08:00

If you want to see the sentimental side of me, watch Segaris Sinar with me. You'd definitely see it. The drama never fails to make me wanna tear for every episode. It really has an interesting plot with good story behind every character. The brotherhood that's apparent right from the start touched me and that's the key factor that triggered the tears. The closeness of the characters made the show feel really warm and the familiarity between the characters made me want to jump out of my seat and right into the screen. An orphanage that focuses on the development of, say, seven boys and a girl, managed to show the importance of each and every single one of them though they may just be children. It shows how big a heart a child can have and how horrible a life a child could go through. It definitely knocked some sense into me that I'm blessed with what I have and shouldn't take them for granted.

Only 3 episodes thus far, and the show deserves a 4.5 stars from me. The 0.5 goes to the unfitting dialogues and fashion of 1985. I don't think they have ankle socks in 1985. Either long, or no socks at all. LOL. But overall, the show is a must catch on every Monday nights on Suria.

Apart from all that, the sort of leader among the boys, Kamil, is my cousin's boyfriend-.- Okay, this is totally irrelevant.

2008-07-20T17:48:00.000+08:00

if going on a binge helps, i wouldn't mind gaining that weight.

2008-07-19T23:15:00.000+08:00

It only hurts when I'm breathing, my heart only breaks when it's beating and my dreams only die when I'm dreaming,

2008-07-19T09:46:00.001+08:00

I don't want to run away from this, I know that I just don't need this;

2008-07-18T20:04:00.002+08:00

Just because you don’t see the tears on the outside doesn’t mean it isn’t pouring on the inside.

2008-07-17T19:24:00.001+08:00

I'm doing so much harm to Bracey by eating unchopped guava. But sloth won the battle.
I decided to name it since it'll stay with me for maybe a year more to go.

I can see this beautiful image of clouds, sky, high rise flats and green green trees.
I feel so at ease till I saw what's in my organiser. Seven incomplete assignments. But it's okay, I can manage them all in one day. (okay, who the hell am I kidding)

As expected, I'm the emcee with Wei Ling for Zone Presentation. I can't see myself doing anything else, anyway. Pretty useless. I know right!

Right.

ABANG IS COMING HOME TOMORROW NIGHT!
YOU REALLY CAN'T TELL HOW ESTATIC I AM.
AND I'VE MANAGED TO CLEAR 80% OF THE MESS I MADE IN HIS ROOM.
YES, THIS IS HOW EXCITED I AM AWAITING HIS RETURN.

Back to mundane life, my parents will have to meet the teachers this Saturday. Nothing new. But but but, a piece of shocking news! I GOT U's la sia. FOR THE FREAKING FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. I HAVE A 'U' GRADE! And what for? Malay Lit. I should really hang myself upside down by the ceiling fan and rotate and rotate. And the 2nd U grade for Math. Expected for that. BUT STILL. I thought I would keep my record clean ah. No U grade my whole JC life. Damn it.
I need chocolate to keep myself in a piece.

Don't treat me like a doll!

2008-07-16T04:51:00.002+08:00

I have been unproductive because weariness is clinging unto me and sleep has been playing me. Yesterday sums it all - I can't study at home. But I don't wanna study out. My limbs will eventually break if I keep studying out night after night till late hours of the day after long hours in the day. The first thing that I should do is stop procrastinating.

If I don't do well for Prelims, it's almost the end of my life, isn't it? No more Teaching Internship for me. And that's all I've been looking forward to.

Today is Thursday in TPJC.

2008-07-14T21:44:00.000+08:00

"That's what friends are for."
You showed me what friends really are for.
Thank you Fida and Jiang(:

One day, I shan't fake my smiles and high-ness and I wonder how the day'll turn out to be.

I am sick and tired of SJAB paperwork. And in the end, it's not even signed by me. Simple analogy: I cook and you serve. When it's nice, people compliment you, when it's shit, the cook gets it all.
Thank you, those who're not even in SJAB for helping - James and Shuib.
Now, don't bother to text me asking how you can help after reading this shit. You should've finished all the paperwork months ago when you initiated the discussion via email. You're busy with school. Wow, I am not busy even though my prelims are in a month's time. And A Levels are round the corner. I have all the time in the world to help the teachers with the paperwork and chase cadets for their stuffs.
I don't wanna quit because I want to prove that I'm a Malay girl who can stay beyond Grade 6, when others out there are telling me to quit seeing how much I'm doing for SJAB. But seriously, I'm really thinking of quitting.
I don't want "thank you"s or "wow, you've been a great help"s or whatever along that line. I just need you to have some empathy. Put yourself in my shoes and think. When I let you signed the papers, I was really expecting something like "Do you want me to complete the rest?" BUT NOPE, nothing came. I won't say you're not contributing anything to SJAB but the Temasek spirit is corps before zone. (which explains why I didn't go for the meeting)
Yes, this is a personal attack but I won't make it so awkward for both of us when we meet so this ends up here.
Now, I really am not expecting any response or excuses from you. I have had enough of doing all the "behind scenes" work and still stuck in the mudhole while all you people who're not troubled by papers are living your lives as cherries.
THIS ENDS HERE.

I LOVE NANI ADILLA ZAILANI!
Please cheer up, dear. We can do it<3

2008-07-12T23:31:00.001+08:00

A long day passed without studying.
Lots of emotions taking a toll on me today but I managed to suppress them and put up a smile. Emotions came and went but only one remained; weariness. I'm exhausted, physically. It's as though my limbs are all breaking apart and my muscles are revolting under these skin.

Happy Birthday, Timothy(:

Japanese Soda

At the minute of burn

Scar after burn

Tan Zheng Xu B. who doesn't seem to be sick and all with all those home clothes and bag to go out-.-

He looks perfectly fine. LOL.

Note that some of us look sick-er than Benny.

Sunset from the cruise <3

What's life without that tinge of drama?

dress searching online with Ying now and she is the cutest person, ever.

hip hip hooray.

2008-07-11T00:45:00.000+08:00

Friday. A week just went by like that and I'm glad to say that I spent the week productively. I completed the assignments that needed to be completed way before and I'm starting to do my own revision. I FINALLY HAVE TIME FOR REVISION and of course I'm elated.

16 more weeks to chiong and I can have my 8 hours of sleep back.

My body alarm is screwed. But I'm not suffering. Yet.

Hannah and her very glam teh from John Cafe in the morning:D

My sister got invited to the Baihakki and Norfasarie's wedding. Somehow. But it's over at Norfa's place. LOL, I would go if it was over at Baihakki's for my Khairul Amri<3

Study study session (:

Having major backache and leg ache.

I will sleep tonight with a smile (:

2008-07-09T17:19:00.003+08:00

I feel like crying cos I'm so touched.

Years ago, a friend of mine posted a whole post about me.
God, it's either I've never seen it before or yeah, I've never seen it before.

We're walking too fast now to turn back and see how we were.
We walked too fast to even realise where the friendship went.
We walked too fast to notice who's missing and who's not.
We walked too fast to even click a picture, now.

HidJais is still loved.

2008-07-09T16:33:00.000+08:00

We do the most spastic and most random things in class and during meals, especially.
Please note Ain's face. HAHA.

Well.

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE<3

I gave up after my forth round.
I didn't feel motivated at all. I tried to think of motivational texts or words but I just couldn't dig up any and wasted my energy chionging the 4 rounds.
Thank you, Hannana(:

All things are gonna happen naturally
Oh, taking your advice and
I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing.

2008-07-09T00:16:00.000+08:00

I'm currently pissed at my laptop. The bluetooth function is not working properly and so I can't use the mouse. I hate using the touchpad, gosh, it's so bloody leceh la.

Thanks eh lappy, after a long day today and this is what I get. YOU WIN.

2.4 run tomorrow. I hope I wont get stitches like I did when I wanted to go all out and run. I have almost zero pain threshold. But I still stand up to the point that I'm not spoilt(:

I should sleep in soon for a good rest before tomorrow's nightmare.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M IN THREE REMEDIALS. THIS IS HOW BAD I AM COPING WITH MY STUDIES RIGHT NOW. FROM ZERO TO ONE AND NOW, THREE. GOOD JOB NAZURAH.

I'm pissed with myself.

And my nose.

Suddenly, I miss Guo Hao.

WHERE ARE YOU?!

2008-07-07T20:50:00.003+08:00

I wanna crash Norfasarie's and Baihakki's wedding! Not that I'm a fan of theirs but on one of their wedding days over at Baihakki's, he'll be inviting all the national players and my dear Khairul Amri will obviously be invited!

Haha, that's according to Berita Minggu which I just read.

Do you know how much I'm in love with Khairul Amri? Everytime he plays and perspires, he looks so hot that...ya, get the idea. Besides, he's only 5 years older. Such a young and great talent:D

SUCH LOVE <3

2008-07-06T21:34:00.001+08:00

Balls. My brother is the cutest person on earth who probably had his brain fried whilst getting his degree. He's coming back in two weeks for a short, short while but he made his friend who came back a week ago brought back my slippers-.- and now I'm supposed to go to Bishan tomorrow to collect them. Is he cute or what? I prefer the or what option better.

Been living on Tim Tam Dark Chocolate as meals and I'm going nuts with the pain from the huge ulcer in my mouth at some secluded-but-is-quite-affected-when-i-smile-or-laugh area.

Completed only two assignments today. I couldn't help but keep falling asleep when I'm supposed to mug. And apart from that, I had a 3 hours lunch break to watch Spiderman 3 on HBO. That's what home does to a tired and bored person who wishes she had all the time in the world to study and clear her A's.

Addicted once more <3

2008-07-05T23:07:00.005+08:00

LOL so not fated to be with my specs. Somehow, it's always closed-.-

Supposed to BBQ Chicken with my parents but we didn't bother to wait in line.
Yes, we have problems with waiting in line unnecessarily.

Anyways, there was the COSspective thing over at DTE and I actually enjoyed having short glimpse of the various costumes that the participants dolled themselves in.

I promised myself that I'll mug tomorrow and Monday because there's no more time left to waste. I shall get my good rest tonight and have all the energy I need to keep myself focused. Anyone up for mugging sessions, just text me(:

Since I didn't study today, I felt so guilty about it and listened to the news instead. It does help when coming up with examples for GP essays(:

Pictures from yesterday's event:

Runner and Dancer :D

TEAS(H)IRE.

The Hearts.

FERRIS AT EHUB!

Carriage of drama.

My truth lies behind fake smiles.

2008-07-05T18:05:00.000+08:00

Seminar Belia actually taught me things. Not during the talks, though, because the audi was freezing.

Spent time with Nani and Ati :D
My mum didn't teach me not to trust people but I learnt it on my own. But these two girls are the only two people I really trust and would share my heart out with them. Thus, I let off some stuff that I've been bottling for so long. It feels good after talking about what I'm facing / faced. Though they don't have the remedy for the situation, the expression on their faces made me feel better. Empathy beats sympathy any time and hands down, at that.

Planned to study tonight but Ayah asked us out to bowl but he called the supervisor and it's full house because only 15 lanes are available. LOL we will never put our name into the waiting list and wait for ten dozen years. Heh. So we're collecting my specs and going out for dinner. We're going bowling tomorrow, though. HAHA. I always believe that weekends should be spent with the family and shame on you people who put friends over family during the weekends unless you have valid reasons to do so.

What if?

2008-07-04T23:28:00.002+08:00

Gang ga. HAHAHA however it's spelt.

Had a slight body breakdown today after Econs and during Hist. All thanks to the daily only 4 hours sleep.

Nursing my wound by online shopping. Old Navy is having crazy sales!:D and exchange rates are still low!:D:D
Gosh, I hate reading what I just typed. Gross.

I'm okay.

2008-07-02T18:14:00.000+08:00

A happy day can overturn with just a sentence.

2008-07-01T23:40:00.002+08:00

I messed up Shoobie's hair): Sorry! You can kill me tomorrow in school.

I'm still at shock at what happened at the eating place. I was totally freaked out because I know what can happen when one cannot control his temper.

Watching Malaysia's parliament seating from the news or something. Completely different from I saw when I was at Singapore's parliament seating. Yes, I was there. A field trip only for my class back in Sec 4. LOL.

I will always remember what Desmond said, "Don't waste time."
We can open our barber in the future when we're retired our something :D

2008-06-30T21:48:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling much better today.
Fasting lifts up my spirit and controls my emotions.

I'm at the driving license website feeling so bloody sore about it because I can only take the BTT after 11 Dec. I don't wanna wait till I'm 21 to get my license okay!
Okay, I'm going down in the pits again because of this stupid 18 year old thingymajig.

2008-06-30T00:19:00.000+08:00

I never knew KY was in TJ's council and better, he's in EXCO. LOL but he knows that I'm in TPJ's council. WTH, hands down man.

I feel much better after resting much today.
I've got this small feeling that I need more rest to stay positive.

I just browsed online for the list to be sent over to my bro before he comes back(: I could've done that three hours ago instead of sleeping. Now, I've to wake up tomorrow (later, actually) at four to do Maths and study Econs. Anyone wanna accompany me, just text me aight?(:

Since it's winter over at Aus, I can't find much stuffs as compared to 5 months back. Damn, this opportunity's gonna be missed.

ANYWAY, I'm in love with the guy from Sleeq. Sharif or something like that. He has the cutest smile and eyes I've ever seen. OMG! Don't worry Taufik, you still own him(:

As I said, I'm gonna chiong starting from tomorrow. (or in less than 4 hours:D)

2008-06-29T13:25:00.000+08:00

Bro's coming back on the 16th for his housemate's wedding in KL and I'm not actually looking forward to it because I've got to clean up the mess I made in his room.
But still, he's bringing back Havaianas for me.

Was dysphoric when I woke up and I had to take my anti-depressants while Malay Lit-ing.

Time's running out and I'm weary from all the chasing.

Please stop me from doing something stupid.

2008-06-28T07:33:00.002+08:00

I don't know if it was my mood plus aching teeth that made Zohan bad or it's just bad.

I don't seem to find words that can describe how I'm feeling now.

Couldn't sleep all night having stupid thoughts in my head.

And I suck at controlling my emotions.

2008-06-26T20:53:00.002+08:00

I'm in the pits of sadness.
I need to be strong to pull myself out of it.

I told myself I can't cry.

):

2008-06-26T05:07:00.000+08:00

I dreamt the sweetest dream.
But I woke up to the hard, cold reality that it was only a dream.

Shoot me if I get too emotional.

2008-06-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

I was taken aback because I didn't know this day would come so soon.

But what can I do now; I was too late.

I. Feel. So. Horrible. Now.
I. Need. A. Hug.

2008-06-24T22:05:00.000+08:00

There are times in your life you feel like you're almost at your lowest because you screwed up your subject test which you aimed to ace it for the major exams.
I screwed up Math big time today and I was filled with regrets after the paper was over. Hunger no longer matters and all I cared about was if I were to get my first U grade in my JC term.

But it all changed when bubbling.
I haven't laughed till my cheeks and tummy hurt since a long, long time. There were innocent laughters and jokes and I wished that the clock wouldn't tick so fast. I was freezing but I was comfortable. Thank you(: and just so you know, people who've seen the really silly side of me gives me pure comfort and there're not many.

Rolling eyes when I mentioned who I'm going with for the movie, I saw.
But no offence taken(:

Had some mind-boggling talk on the way home. Kept me thinking and thinking. Now I realise who're true(:

Friday Zohan and next Friday Get Smart(:
Hold on a minute, are we taking our A Levels this year? LOL.

2008-06-23T16:54:00.002+08:00

45 minutes walk home from school made me think.
About life, studies, family, friends, love and future.

But I was wishing I'd bump into you within that 45 minutes.
Even if I did, I wouldn't know what to say to you.

2008-06-22T14:37:00.002+08:00

I told my mum about the nine-months-plan and she disapproved. Not the driving part but the Perth part.

She wants me to stay there for a whole month. Why? So that I'll learn to cook. The C word. What the hell am I going to do for a month? They'd all be busy working and schooling and I'll rot away in my brother's place until the weekends when he's much free-er. Apart from that, Kak Ezma will be at home since she's taking her PHD and doesn't have to go to school that often but I can't possibly be a burden for her the whole month. OMG.

I hope she's joking about it.
Though she doesn't seem to be.

And for the record, I don't know how to cook and am not interested to cook at the age of EIGHTEEN.

2008-06-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

Temasek SJAB Amazing Race 2008!
I was looking forward to it all week and it didn't quite turn out as how I expected it to be. Let's skip those details.

seniors > juniors -.-

i wanna isolate myself there to mug!

More pictures with Kevin because my camera died along the way):

I've got my nine months planned out real well last night/morning while waiting for Ying to reach home and contact me. I know I should've been mugging instead of planning but I needed a break.

Well here goes...

In early December, I'm going to take the Basic Driving Theory Test since I don't think I'll have much to do (other than committing myself to pure torture - NCOC 08).
Then in January, I'll be trying out the Provisional Driving License.
I have no idea how long that'll take, though. LOL.
In late Feb / early March, I'll be spending ten days in Perth with my brother. Anyone interested in coming along? My brother will be working so I have most of the time to myself and myself alone there. It's summer so the summer sales are definitely worth the ten days. Anyone interested do tell me. LOL.
Mid / Late March to early April, I will have intensive training for SJAB annual competition.

(there goes 5 months of doing something beneficial)

Then I'll take the final theory test and driving lessons (which I hope can fill up the other 4 months and that is if I'm not overly depressed over my A's results). And guess what? I'm going to ask my parents to pay for the whole package as my birthday present this year. LOL.
After release of A's results, I'm going to apply for internship (if I get the required grades). This will be the coolest thing ever because it can make or break my dream of becoming a teacher because I need to know if I'm cut out for teaching.

LOL and tadaaaaa, the end of nine months. Freaking fast ain't it? Scares me, though.

NCOC BBQ! AH! I came with one hidden agenda but I received two instead and I'm so happy. I'm going to be dreaming sweet dreams tonight.
I miss SIXERS! Was happy to see Terence and Dog. Yes Dog, I get it that your birthday is less than 20 days away. WOOF!

Sentosa worsened my slipper lines.
LOL.

help needed urgently.

2008-06-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

I've spent the entire week worrying about the Temasek SJAB Amazing Race and spent another day today finalising and whatnot with the seniors. The day is tomorrow and if it fails, I will not have anything more to say because I could've spent all those time thinking about it on my studies. Sometimes, I don't get my priorities right - make it most of the time. But sometimes, I try to redeem myself by cutting down on what I love most, sleep.
And then I question myself; am I cut out to be in JC? Am I cut out to be what I want to be in the future? Wait, hold on there. What do I want to be in the future. The future is unclear and is undefined till I decide but will my decisions be right?

I hate questioning myself. I make me sound stupid.

I can watch videos in their normal size but when full screen, it just blanks.
HELP NEEDED URGENTLY.
Please contact me if you think you know what to do.
Much thanks.

problems with the videos leads to this...
"just off the comp and go to sleep"
"i can't sleep and don't wanna waste time on the bed."
"tried the floor?"
YOU SUCK! LOL.

2008-06-20T11:42:00.003+08:00

'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

those gigantic smiles.

2008-06-19T22:34:00.000+08:00

My mum is hooked up on the PSP. So cute.

My appetite's at its bottom lately. I might have a reason for that but at the same time, I might not. Ya, this is so going somewhere.

I've got the night left for finishing up the Math Prelim paper and GP comprehension before I enjoy myself this weekend with the TEMASEK SJ AMAZING RACE and NCOC BBQ. Such a good way to let off steam and let down my hair before the crazy term comes.

I only have one goal and the goal is to enjoy the 9 months break after A Levels. To be able to do that, I must first do well for the A's so I won't have to retake or whatever other nonsense.

Gosh, I hate backaches.

Somehow I felt my day was well-spent.

I feel like hugging Taufik Batisah.
Weird.
And I feel like seeing Khairul Amri. Ah, such love <3

I saw this small kid wailing and wailing even after her dad's carried her but she stopped when her mum took her and my mum started telling me a story about me. She said I was exactly like that when I was an infant. I will refuse the world except my mum and she was still teaching then and one day, she brought me to school. She left me under the care of her fellow colleagues and went for lesson. (I think I was asleep or something. Or it doesn't make sense at all.) And then somehow I started crying and all (maybe upon waking up or something) and then I was wailing like as though I was tortured brutally or something and when I heard my mum's footsteps, I immediately shut up. My goodness, if my child turns out like me in the future, at least I'm mentally prepared for it. But I was so irritating, gosh.

2008-06-14T10:30:00.001+08:00

It's almost the end of the week. I haven't studied a single day this week and I feel so horrible and guilty. But I didn't spend a single day shopping. Such a lousy way to spend my week. No studying and no shopping-.-

My mum's friend had a stroke attack due to vein burst in the brain that causes blood clot. He's a teacher. LOL. I don't know if I should add that sentence but whatever.

Supposed to Squash on Sunday but it's Fathers' Day. Which brings me to my other point. I haven't jogged since my last. I think that was on Tuesday. OMG. I feel extremely fat and unhealthy.

2008-06-09T23:08:00.003+08:00

roStudied with Asther and Ying at T1. Wasn't fruitful today, maybe because I ran this morning. Yeah, I freaking ran this morning. I pushed myself like never before and I managed to run 18 min without stopping. Speaking of 2.4, I couldn't even sustain for 5 min. Loser, I know.

Had the meeting on this year's Amazing Race. I so can't wait for it(: The seniors will camp over at my place for the night before and then we'll head to Harbourfront like freaking early in the morning! How exciting can that be? LOL.

Okay the waterhub reflection thingy bores me to death. I don't even know what to say. Due to my kindness, I shall not be honest and tell them that I learnt nothing. It was a complete waste of time and I even refused to do the water droplets thing. Cos I won't have anything good to write.

Shopping, shopping on Wed. I'm so excited over that. Elizoo's the best person to go with because she knows where exactly the deals are. And she drives. LOL.

2008-06-08T13:56:00.003+08:00

This is those moments in life that I go crazy.
Wedding under the void deck.
Some carnival at the park or somewhere else.

Kompangs, motor engine thing and No One. Yes, all that I can hear from my living at one time. Damn it. Can't one have peace on a freaking Sunday? Personally, I dislike the motor convoy thingy and having to listen ot the engines for the past ten minutes totally annoys me. And the whoever's rendition of No One is pissing me off. She couldn't reach the pitch and could be heard screaming into the mic. I admit that I'm really petty. But whatever, I have my rights to enjoy my Sunday watching Friends and not caring about the rest of the world.

I tried cooking some fried rice. I could taste the ikan bilis, chicken, potato and egg but the rice is tasteless. I remembered all the ingredients and fried them all but I forgot something so important, the rice-.- Okay fine, I suck at cooking.

I dreamt a few nights ago that Giant had no more chocolate in stock. It was a nightmare! They only had crystalised chocolate (whatever that is) and I was so depressed. What a stupid nightmare, goodness.

Attempted to wake up earlier today to jog in the park but I was too tired so I'll jog in the evening(:

Singapore against Uzbeks last night. My Khairul Amri was such love la. Indra finally came back and boy, I was so glad I didn't miss the match:D

2008-06-07T09:52:00.002+08:00

It's electric green and red :D cos I only had three seconds to choose since she was in a rush.

Well, the cut on the inner side of my lip is not getting any better. In fact, it got worse. It's like some form of blister in my mouth. If you're asking if it hurts, I'd gladly give you a chance to feel it. It's pure torture.

For the past week, I completed:

4 GP essay outlines
2 History essay outlines
2 History SBQ outlines
Macroeconomics 3
Correlation and Regression Assignment

I feel so accomplished and proud of myself because now, I'm in control of myself. I no longer have the urge to watch tv while doing work and I can make myself sit and complete what I want to. The balcony is the new place to mug. And I love that place. With the fishes, radio and slippers. Maybe that can substitute Ehub?

I miss people. Mugging isolates. Stupid, nonsensical theory, I know. Shopping next week with Eliza. So I must complete everything before we go out shopping. A goal I set for myself(:

I've been having many sleepless nights.
Because I've been thinking.

dental!(:

2008-06-05T22:13:00.004+08:00

Dental tomorrow. Can't wait to change these boring colours!
And my lower lip has some cuts because I knocked onto the edge of the bed and my brackets cut my lip walls.

LOL.

I've completed History assignments - the whole pile. I can't believe I did it and I'm completing the pile of GP assignments(: So proud of myself!

Okay, I'll admit that I'm bored to death mugging at home. I wanna mug a Ehub but it's the holidays and there're thousands of people there. It won't be conducive. But I wanna study at Ehub!

Rhetoric

2008-06-04T07:01:00.002+08:00

Is there a point of time when you've absorbed so much in an hour, you just can't absorb anything else in the next or is it just pure determination, willpower and concentration?

Studied on Monday and lost my focus when they came and Burnout which proves that I get distracted easily. But otherwise, studying is quite a breeze for me. All I need is a large table space, some drinks, music and comfort. Completed what I wanted to do by today on Monday and I'm a step ahead the schedule but I've got to be at least three steps ahead for shopping with Eliza. So today, my day will be fruitfully spent as a geek.

12 more days to Abang's birthday and I do miss him much. Though he won't post Havaianas Slim to me and pay his debt, he's still the brother I respect and love so much. Truthfully, he's the one that keeps me going in this hectic JC life because he's my competition. My only one, that is. Each major exam, I aim to do better than him and when I've done so, I feel this sense of pride and whatnot because I know though I owned him, he's proud of this little sister of his(: But now, I've got to prove that I can get a degree at an earlier age compared to him. Yeah, I've got to suck that fact in.

So what am I doing online this early? Beats me. I've got this burning thing up my mind that prevents me from sleeping. I had to Burnout and Crazy Taxi last night all the way till about 2 to fall asleep. More of till the battery's dead.

Don't blame me for not looking, blame the cute guy for not counting. LOL.

Baik Malay! I'll rot in Singapore while you're enjoying New York. Jealous jealous.

2008-06-01T22:56:00.002+08:00

I've just completed my june holiday revision schedule and my plans for the future which is up till ten years from now. I'm scaring myself because I am aiming for what seems a little impossible unless I do well for A's and my BA. I'm aiming to be the subject head / level head by the age of 28-30 with my Masters in hand. Yes, I am that scary.

So I shall procrastinate no more and start mugging tomorrow, as planned. Mug at the airport while waiting for the rest and then send Shuib off.

I do realise that I'm quite pampered at times. Nicole and Shuib (and maybe many others) can live without having their parents sending them off at the airport and I can't. For the Egypt trip last year, I made my dad leave work halfway just to send me off (not that I forced him to). And I strongly believe that I'm not spoilt. Just filial.

Speaking of spoilt, I did so much housework today because Mother dearest went to Malaysia this morning! I even made my parents' bed. OMG. I am such a nice daughter. Though I kind of made my dad starve at home with late dinner cos I was panic attacking the ghosts:D Sorry, Ayah!

Now, who's flying off? (:

RED AND ELECTRIC GREEN OR ORANGE AND GREY BRACES?

2008-05-31T12:45:00.000+08:00

Manifestasi last night was great. Kudos to the team who managed to pull it all together. Personally, I'm so proud of Izzati. I bet Cikgu Sahriana is too.

Enjoyed the show though I was damn sleepy, thanks to sleeping late and waking early for one hour of Math and invigilating bed-making. I could've failed some of them but I was too nice and decided not to and gave them second chances. Those rare moments of niceness.

F21 having nice graphic tees! I'm so annoyed.

Met all OOB members yesterday after so long but all separately-.- ah, wasted.

Well then, mugging begins on Monday.
Real mugging.

2008-05-29T07:28:00.000+08:00

Another episode of keeping the feelings inside till it goes away or it gets known.
I'm good at that. At least I believe that I'm good at it.

Ulcer on the tongue and ulcers on the wall...gosh, I could just kill myself with the pain.

Lessons later. And I'm quite sick of school. Not something I will express, actually.

Let's wait till prom, shall we?

2008-05-19T21:28:00.001+08:00

School tomorrow, damn.
I'm getting tired running the whole routine. But 19 more weeks and it'll soon be over. Endure Naz, endure.

2008-05-18T00:40:00.000+08:00

Home early today. Wanted to stay much longer at Berlin's but Miss Red kept haunting me with paranoia and it was worsened cos I wore a white bottom. Yea, I think now you know who's Ms Red. De Cong took quite a while to realise who Ms Red is. Actually, it's more of a what. I won't confuse myself with Who or What because I'm not Wei Choy:D

Pictures for yesterday/few hours ago:

At Angel's

Alienated telephones

FAT ~~BOY~~CHOY

The 4Ners

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANGEL:D

Hui Hoon(:

Hiang Ling(:

Lifang(:

Shaika(:

Safirah(:

"Dianzhuang, are you sleeping also?"

TAN WEI CHOY, YOU SUCK. LOL.

TAN WEI CHOY, YOU STILL SUCK.
The doods.

At Berlin's

Innovative way of opening. gee double oh dee jay oh bee(:

The work just to throw Yi Heng in.

Accomplished faces.

YI HENG WHO CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS HAIR.

Ziyong who bbq'd marshmellow for me. Aww.

I'm as tall as Ding Geng!

The gathering at Angel's was a way to catch up, whatnot with the busy schedule of everyone. It got a little weird at some point of time as we talk about the future and serious matters like job opportunities and stuff. I can't imagine like ten years down the road, we'll be gathering and bringing our kids along and then talk about things like politics and ways to bring up our children. Haha. We're really growing up too fast. But it was nice seeing those who were there because I haven't seen some of them for like years and I'm not exaggerating it. "No one really changed." Somehow, it's true. No one really changed except that Wei Choy grew fatter, that's all. It's a wonder how people can judge whether you change or not by the way you're dressed and how you talk to them. Kind of superficial, I must say. Because honestly, I know I have changed. Let's start from the exterior, the way I speak now is already reflecting the change in me. I didn't used to use proper sentences that people can't even unerstand what I have to say but now, it's a totally different case because I'm starting to use proper English. Well, people do change.

Hera at the Bayshore. Although I'm not like integrated in them because I was in Hera 1 and not Hera 2, these people from Hera 2 made me feel like I'm one of them. And I'm glad I made the right choice to go(: While they were throwing people into the pool, they were saying they'd save me for the last. I could almost kill myself when Ding Geng dragged the chair I was on. Thankfully, my scream saved me. So girls, don't be afraid to scream(when needed):D And yea, before they could do anything, I had to tall them Ms Red is accompanying me today and it's not convenient to throw me in and they understood, though doubtfully because suddenly everyone has Ms Red accompanying them. And when I left early, I had to explain why I was leaving and the guys, though I have never spoken to some of them before could defend me and said it's alright. OMGosh. I'm really touched okay and I'm in love with them.

The dao faces of Hera.

Thank you Wei Choy for forcing me to come for the gathering. If not for your call, I wouldn't have come and will be missing out on alot.
Thank you Berlin, WenJie, Zi Yong, Yi Heng, De Cong, Jonathan, Chun Siang, Anisa, San, Zhi Ying, Naim and Ding Geng.

I had some good laughs today and I enjoyed today very much.
It's worth the time spent off Math and Malay though there're tests on Thursday.

I'm going to dream the sweetest dream tonight.

2008-05-17T08:43:00.002+08:00

If only there were more public holidays, if only there were more hours in a day, if only I could be at more than one places at a time, if only I could arrange my time well. If only.

College Day. 4N gathering. CheeKeen's gathering. Hera OGL gathering. 4 places to be in one day. Of which, three are gatherings that won't take place again probably until much after A's. I'm making a point to be at all three places at least for some time. I don't want busy schedules to take a toll on me and actually running my life for me; cancelling my plans and rejecting invites for me. I want to be there and I'm going to cherish my time there.

I've been embracing alot of emotions for the past week. Tonnes happened but I kept my cool and I'm still running strong. One more week and I can at least have ample sleep. It's a wonder how I want to do well for the monster and yet not giving my body the necessary nutrients it needs. I'm torturing myself but if I don't, then I'm torturing myself in another way - not doing well for the monster and screwing my future. Torture reminds me of sufferings.

From Mr Norman New," Sufferings is the consequence of desires." Which I inferred to be, the less you desire, the less you suffer. But I must desire to do well for the monster so I will push myself to my limits or even beyond my limits (not till I reach a gunpoint) to achieve pleasurable results. And what's the pleasurable results, you ask? I'm not certain but I"m hoping for AAB/AAC. The B/C for History, duh.

2008-05-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

I got 21/30 for the GP current affairs quiz. Of the 21, 15 answers came from my dad! HAHA. I'm such a loser, I ought to read more. Those questions I made a mistake were all my answers-.- YES, bottomline is I need to start reading. Or at least remember what I read.

I have nothing in mind right now. After reading the feedback from the cadets for the March camp. Abit disappointing but whatever. I've learnt to cope with disappointments.

DIPPIN DONUTS TOMORROW:D

This post doesn't show how much I love my mum because I can't put my love for Mum in words.

2008-05-12T23:17:00.001+08:00

My teeth are aching since noon. Hate it.

Ehubed with Mark and Astrid, while walking home, I realised I'm enjoying life despite the tonnes of homework that I have. Not saying I'm not doing them, of course. I'm not so diligent at assignments but I do most of them. I think I need to take life slowly as it goes because I don't want everyday to end without realising what I've learnt and experienced each day.
I shall listen to Cikgu Faten and start listing what I learn every single day. That way, I can see if my life's fulfilling or just plain crap which I believe is not as I know that He has something planned out for me.

Mark mentioned about the world predicted to end in 2012. 4 years from now and it's the end of the world? Yea, you bet I'm freaking out. I haven't served Him enough and I haven't been dutifully performing my prayers. Dang, I feel so guilty now. And scared, duh.

Drinking Milo at night doesn't help. But luckily my mum bought those tiny packets.

Mothers' Day(: I made something sweet for mum dearest. Something that she's supposed to hang on the wall. All my presents for her for the past few years have been something to hang on the wall. On purpose. But she just keeps them away. Probably for the excuse of safekeep. Yea, and mum dearest kissed me when she saw what I made for her. I wanted to cry on the spot thinking how much time I've spent not with her when she actually quitted her job as a teacher as soon as I was in Primary 1 because she wanted to spend more time with me. And now I've grown as big as this(literally), I'm not spending much time with her and instead, always lepak-ing in school. I should hate myself for that. But it's alright, I know mum dearest loves me loads.
And we went bowling at Ehub(: Didn't have to wait because my dad knew the manager or something of that sort and he gave us a lane without making us wait long when the place was packed like crazy:D

Anyway, I don't understand how people can don't celebrate Mothers' Day with their mums. Or at least wish them or just tell them you appreciate them for all that they've done. Sorry, but I'm very anal about these things. Seriously, there are only two days (Mothers' Day and her birthday) for you to somewhat get the message across that despite your bitchfit and constant rude behaviour, you love her and when the days come, you just pretend nothing's happening. Come on la, she probably could not push while giving birth to you and not bear as much pain as she did and leave you to die. Her sacrifices are like nothing to you now that you're big and smart, I assume. Look into the mirror and see your mum's image in you. You ought to kiss her feet for ignoring the presence of Mothers' Day.
Note: This is not a personal attack to anyone. I don't care if you have opposing views.

My brother sent something via airmail and we thought it was something for my mum for Mothers' Day but no, it was his graduation picture enlarged which he bought from his school. Haha, my brother sucks. He refused to mail Havaianas slippers to me though he owes me close to a thousand. And I'm in need of slippers. GRR.

My dentist, Dr Sharifah is on TV now.
OMG, I feel so honoured being treated by her. HAHA.

2008-05-10T18:59:00.002+08:00

Dont know why I studied so hard for the Econs Case Study test when I know I'll fail for sure.
Yea, I suck at Econs now. I suck so badly at Macro but I'm aiming for at least a B for A Levels. Gosh, I don't know if I can make it. I'm seriously looking forward to how the GEMS programme can help me for the A's. I need help.

Missing the Falcon cheerleading dinner about now because I'm a filial granddaughter spending mothers' day with my paternal grandmother. Yea, sometimes it sucks to be filial.

I can tie the knot thing with my tongue thing. LOL. But everytime I do it, it's slow to begin with. I need to practice.

The council company's been of great help for me to vent out whatever I kept inside.
Such love.

Today shall conclude a boring lepak day.
AND I'M NOT A MINAH. thanks.

2008-05-04T14:27:00.003+08:00

I like going down to the minimart on weekends because the shopowners' son helps out then and thing is, he's kinda cute.
Okay.

Dentist said my teeth are doing fine! But I hate it that my front teeth aren't strong enough cos I still can't bite with them and it sucks. I've to eat my Special Chicken Mayo with a fork-.- and many more with forks too. Grr.

Lynn, you should slap yourself for coming here uninvited due to your busybody-ness and because of you, I should start campaigning for tag in proper english. The word is should.
By the way, who the hell are you? Oh, I'm not expecting for a reply(:

Anyway, I'm touched by Mr Ali's words. Yea, he's our baton and I'm going to run as fast as I can for these last two laps. YEAH! And tomorrow shall mark my turning point. Note: shall.

I suck. HAHAHA.

2008-05-03T10:04:00.000+08:00

Everything ended last Wednesday and boy, am I missing such a hectic life. Loser.

Anyway, let the pictures do the talking as much as I love to talk.

Our Singapore tower.

Investiture rehearsal

ELIZOO!

MELLOY!

Yea, I can see his eyes. DZ!

Randolphin.

Orgasmic drummer and cheapo chan.

My favourite president!
and I'm his soft-spoken disciplinarian!

WeyJiang!

Anyone interested in joining us ballroom dancing?

MY ORIENTATION OIC!

Partner!

22nd council, the love!

That's just the final rehearsal. The last invetiture rehearsal in my council term which officially ended the next day.

23rd Student Council Investiture

Quartermaster and Disciplinarian!

Naz, Lester, Shuib, Nicole.

PRODANCER!

Akrooom!

Sean Foo!

MR PRESIDENT DANIEL LIM! whose birthday is today.

ASTRIDYTIS!

Tall Guang Shun!

The never-ending cream puff story:D

Walk-in partner.

This can-run-very-fast girl, Berlin.

Malaysian James!

87, 92, 41. I love Alwine's face. LOL.

Jesmond and Jazurah.

WINETRICE!

22nd and 23rd diciplinarians.

YEECHIEN CHEOT!

it's all over, now.

Look at the similarities. Coincidental or sync minds?

Post-invest party

Coke from Nicole's mouth to Gourie's. Gross, I know.

I couldn't resist the temptation. (not of daniel) LOL.

Celebrating Daniel's birthday:D

Track & Field Meet / Cheerleading

JOEL!

Final rehearsal with coach.

HIT ME, HIT ME, YEAH!

Joel:D

Falcon cheerleading team with Captain Sherman!

Meridian Council Investiture

Nani dearest!

TPJCians with our tour guide, Md Noor Danial. HAHA.

we're not being mean, it got crushed in my pocket. SORRY!

So now with everything over, I've got to focus on my studies because that's my reason why I'm here in TPJC. And I'm going to start mugging come Monday. I've got my weekend to rest and the intensive begins.
I'm all ready!

2008-04-26T00:17:00.002+08:00

So the shopping thing at DTE is almost done. Managed to squeeze some time out our busy schedule to check it out just now. Actually, more of checking a person out. HAHA. Stalker shit. But he made my night, despite my stalker-ness.
SYMG!(:

Doing cheerleading routine for the dance part now. Whoaa. Tiring shit but it's okay, I can do it. Wonder why I don't have the same willpower when it comes to assignment. Damn my psychology. HAHA. OHOH, maybe cos there's no mundane school tomorrow. Yea, maybe.

My teeth hurt so badly yesterday. Today, my mouth walls are hurting. Tomorrow? Only God knows.

I LOVE ATIKAH SYARAH WHO CAN PITCH AND BAT AND IS INTO SOFTBALL.
Yea, I almost got killed for always shouting her name. At least I think I almost did(: GO TP SOFTBALL.

2008-04-24T21:47:00.001+08:00

CHEERLEADING WAS AWESOME! It was exciting because it's my first. Yup, life is full of firsts no matter how old you are(:
The ones who backed out, you don't know what you're missing out on.

Did my last commanding duty yesterday. Feeling a little melancholic about it but it's okay. At least I've had my chance(:

Yes, yes! That's me(: Thanks to Winetrice(:

I'm his number ONE fan! :D

Part of the 22nd after rehearsal.
HAHA. The guard was already chasing us out but being us...

ANYWAY, I UNDERWENT SOME MAJOR CHANGE. Yea, yea. Major to me, whatever.

Presenting to you...

THE BRACE FACE!

BRACE FACE AND SISTER ATI!

TWO BRACE FACES.

Shocking eh?
HAHAHAHA.

Okay, I've got History test tomorrow.

2008-04-22T19:32:00.002+08:00

MAKE OVER, MAKE OVER!:D SHHH, SECRET.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANI DEAREST.
DINNER NEXT WEEK(: Hopefully TM's swensens are open by then.

Hectic, hectic week. Investiture rehearsal and more work.
Yea, I love JC.

I LOVE MY MOJO!<3

2008-04-19T12:55:00.002+08:00

I need to learn to control my feelings. Weeks / months of hardwork gone to waste last night. Abstinence didn't work that well after all. Now I regret letting my emotions take a toll on me. One thing I'm glad about is that it didn't show. Do you really think I'm into Mojo? Hah. Good cover up, eh?

Songfest 2008 last night. It was awesome. Everything went kind of smoothly during the event. Thanks to Shoobie, ZZ and Mel(: One major blooper was that I forgot to bring my camera. Damn it. On the other hand, I really enjoyed it all. Minus the band results though. Alwine's group should definitely have won but it's okay. Teacher's preferences are something not in our control. But we all know that Ready, Set, Zap! should've won. GO ALWINE! Oh by the way, I notice that Alwine has an orgasmic face when he drums. LOL. Chalks in Paris were awesome. I really salute Naz for the courage at the end of Songfest. Seriously, it takes a lot of courage to admit your own mistake. What more in front of hundreds of people. GO CHALKS! And Livert made my night by being the sweetest. Congrats Livert on the win(: GO LIVERT!
AND SO THAT MARKS THE END OF THE 22ND COUNCIL EVENTS.
It's sad but it's okay, because throughout the whole journey, I've learnt more than what I expected. I've loss more than what I've expected to and likewise, I've gained more than what I've expected to. One most important thing is friendship. I've never thought I'd feel so deeply for the council but now I do. And the coolest thing is that some of them know me better than my classmates do. Irony but true. Oh and another, is trust. I've learnt the meaning of trust in council. I trust that they'll be there when I fall and they were. Ah, such love.
:D

I'm sleepy. Even after sleeping for 12 hours. The shiokness.

I don't want to go to school on Monday. Can someone help me please?

Paedophile tendencies

2008-04-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

Songfest rehearsals and I invited myself to be the quality control person.
Actually my motive of being there was to do my paedophile activities. HAHA. I wish I could be in Ethel's position la. Not only has she a nice accent, she has cute guys around her.
GO CHALKS! (:

My surgery's postponed to Wed since the dentist can't make it this Friday. Which in Shuib's words meant that I won't be cranky on that day(: and in my own mean that I can go for Songfest and ya, go for Songfest!(:

I NEED SLEEP.
I NEED ICE CREAM (that's more of want).
I NEED TUITION FOR MATH, ECONS AND HISTORY.
I SUCK AT HISTORY.
I NEED 1 MILLION DOLLARS TO DROP FROM THE SKY.
I WANT COLOURFUL MARKERS AND PENS.

This post is nothing but about me.

2008-04-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

I'm amazed by DJ's words, humored by Daniel's nonsense and appreciated Ms Lee's memories of the camp.
Yet again, I can't put my feelings for the council term in words because it definitely is worth more than what I can express.
Also, I will always remember Ms Lee remembering the nutella bread I spread for her. Unfortunately, the 22nd has got to take our leave):

I Aced my Project Work. A for my first A Levels subject. No strong feeling for it because everyone seems to be acing. So what's the value in an A? Not saying I'm unhappy. Jut not very contented, though there's nothing better than an A. And I so owe it all to Daniel Wong Jinghe. Thanks, sis!(:

Going for teeth extraction and some minor surgery on Friday. Scared but I can face it because I faced a large needle poking into me ten times. Yeah, I went for blood donation but didnt donate any. Because the needle was too huge for my vein. And the nurse kept poking in and out like so many times even after the anaesthesia has gone off. I held my tears because there were too many people around. FYI, I am very egoistical. And so the bruises on my arm.
I will face pain with courage because courage comes painfully.

Did quite a bit of shopping the past few days. JL Expo Sale, Warehouse sale which didn't turn out good at all and Charles & Keith Warehouse sale. I want to go back to the Charles & Keith sale but this time, not with hundreds of people around because I could feel my head spinning with the depleting oxygen-.- And I'm envious of big feet! Because shoes their sizes come easy. Typical Singaporean ladies' size 36-38 suffer much. The pairs we want get out of stock real fast. But variety comes in handy(:

will there be a point of time I'm lost for words when your name's mentioned?
I'm running out of feelings to spare.

2008-04-07T20:49:00.000+08:00

GP remedial was fruitful and I will try my best to attend all remedials, though I didn't fail but I suck real bad at it. I suck eggs.

Anyway, results were the worst I've gotten in my JC term so far and I'm more disciplined than ever. Because I want to get into NUS, damn it. This whole "even if you get triple Cs, you won't make it to any local uni...oh wait, now triple Bs won't get you anywhere either" thing, I'm determined to get AAB. B for sucky History. Damn, I'm not into that subject anymore. And I'm a step closer to getting my A for MLL because I've gotten a B for the recent exam! :D Ya, for the rest, much more large steps to go.

Disappointment. I know I could've done much better for Econs if I started earlier because I know I'm no where near that area. Yes, I need to console myself.

OK, whatever eh.

Right, it's been nice talking to myself.
I'd better leave for K-Nite, dinner and assignments.

I braved myself to watch even some parts of the ghost movie because you were there. It's just so weird how things've turned out now. I wish you didn't have to know and I wished you'd still be the same. The you who'd drop in to the council room and start strumming some chords into the guitar. The you who'd drop in even for a while and make my day (even without you knowing). The you whom I'll be dying to see even for a glimpse. But now, seeing you hurts because you're no longer the you I want to see. I've heard so much that I just want to run away. The feelings won't go away even though I've heard so much. "Disciplinarian, so you must be brave." I'll remember but will I find the courage to tell you? Only God knows.

I should stop blogging like a minah, damn it.
My English expression is awkward.

THE TWENTY-SECOND STUDENT COUNCIL

2008-04-06T14:59:00.006+08:00

Council camp 2008 ended today. I'm feeling it even before Mark told us we'll be out of council in a few weeks. And to side-track, I am seriously sleep-deprived.

What my council term means to me?
"Observe one minute of silence to reflect on what your council term means to you."
Silence and 5 seconds later...
"What are we supposed to do now?"
"Take one minute to reflect on what your council term means to you."
Silence and 10 seconds later...
"Huh? Reflect on what?"
"WHAT YOUR COUNCIL TERM MEANS TO YOU!"
"Eh, all quiet quiet!"
"Shut up laa!"
"SHHH!"
"Okay one minute starts now."
That is my council, that is the 22nd council of Tampines JC and I'm proud to be part of it.
Just that one part, it's obvious where I'm heading to. The council is made up of tonnes of different characters and attitudes of various people. Even one minute of silence is difficult to commence but that's what makes us unique.
Back to the question, what my council term means to me?
In council, I met people. I met different kinds of people - physically, mentally, emotionally etc.
I met people who're strong in their own ways and have seen how we used our strengths to cover up for each other's weaknesses. How we bonded due to difficulties and how we enjoyed together after succeeding. Indeed, the student council has some black sheeps but still, we're proud of these black sheeps and we're all gray now.
My council term means the world to me. Why? Experience means the world to every single one of us here and my council term has provided me with much experience in executing jobs, interacting with people, controlling my sometimes-unmanageable emotions and many many more. Council allowed me to show my best and be the best in whatever I want to be. Council allowed me to face more problems non-school related. Council drew up my life for the past year and I'm happy with how I'm drawn now. There may be conflicts and arrows flying around, but the fact is, every councillor plays a part in carving out the experience of another person and I'm sure throughout my council term, I'm capable of doing something more because I'm more experienced than how I was before I joined council.
The term means a lot to me because I know I can fall back on anyone of them if my life comes crashing and I know I can be there for any one of them.
Actually, they're all beyond words and priceless.

Pictures that will draw a thousand words.

The prep for the war.

Zizie and Nicole. We're all that random.

Council soccer team.

WATER WAR!

President held hostage. Nice face, Daniel!

Pollution. Tsk.

Sean Foo!

MAO SEI ah Jimmy!

Keng Lee!

Classic shit.

22nd and 23rd on seniors' night:D

SEANIE is freaking thin.

Three cheers for Mark Chan!

the bitch-ers! :D

Wey Jiang, jiggle jiggle. LOL.

BOM CHA CHA.

He's much taller than that. Thanks ah, Say Yien.

Insect shuib. LOL YOU INSECT-EYED THING.

The partner who blackamails me. Thanks eh, Lester.

Presenting to you, the love of my life.
The twenty-second student council of TPJC <3

2008-03-30T10:02:00.002+08:00

The girl who's in the top ten list so far for council elections don't deserve it. Totally. Sad that I can't rally for people not to vote for her. Gross shit.

I'm up so early on a Sunday morning. Doing Maths assignments and thinking of those loves in HQ counting money. Hopefully, we'll win this year!

Benny's birthday dinner was nice but gross towards the end. Thanks eh Gao. HAHAH.

I'm going through a day step by step. I don't want to rush into things and I'm going to use my brain more often now.

2008-03-26T23:22:00.002+08:00

I horribly feel like puking now but nothing's coming out.

The track semis...ya, I choose not to blog about it.
Screw it, I know we could've done much better. I hate the feeling of losing. Not after SJAB.

I've been unwell since the beginning of the week. Nose problems.

Screw today.
It's such a lousy day.

Even this post is lousy.

I want to take my break from SJAB. Seriously, once and for all for my A's. Fuck, but no one gives me the opportunity to because I see my name appearing every where in e-mails. Damn it, I'm sure I said I'm taking my leave after competition. Which part of after competition doesn't anyone understand? The screwed zone is killing me. I'm so stressed out just because of a few CPBS application forms, damn it. I FUCKING NEED MY BREAK.

Yes, my mood's crappy now.
Don't call or text any nice words because I'm not in the mood to be nice.

Fuck.

2008-03-23T18:27:00.002+08:00

OKAY!

The pics for camp and comp are up. Pics for Perth will still have to wait(:

Let me begin with the long over March camp and the canfire.

OC Alan, 2OC Hannah

Staff Ying and CPL Ting (the junior seniors)

Is this pathetic or what? What.

Understand now why it's CANfire? :)

Where there's darkness, every glimpse of small light makes a whole lot of difference.

Dear emcees, sien and benny. (:

Kevin, Kamsiah and Kimothy. HAHAHA. W.

Ying, Ting and Ms Yeo! So on la.

The 11.11 in love pair.

Guowei and Irfan. Notorious.

Sabo shit.

Okay Tim, stop acting cute. GOSH!

The two in red. Coughs.

ACT SHY!

TWO in the middle. Coughs.

The ambulance NCOs.

Birthday celebration(: and wishing they'll stay together!

Hardworking at camp with so much junkfood and games around. LOL.

Ying will so want this!

Screw the clock! LOL.

the cute sec1 nursings.

LIM YING and NAZ!

Kevin's artistic shot. With his Lim Ying as focus, duh.

THIS IS A NICE SHOT LA!

Okay, she's cute. HAHA.

STAFF LIM HAN YING!

Eee, Kevin Png.

Asther's artistic shot.

Such joy in our faces.

Ying and Pan!

Such lovable pair.

We so love each other.

Okay Asther, I know the time you took that shot.

Comp pictures will have to wait.

Haha and I recalled something funny. The footdrill judge asked me if I'm a Malay or Chinese when I'm wearing my full-u with nametag on. LOL and he answered his question himself. I wouldn't have guessed he's a Chinese if I didn't look at his nametag. Nametags are so important. LOL we should start a fad out of it.

2008-03-23T17:19:00.002+08:00

My body isn't really feeling too good after yesterday's event. How the hell am I going for the track semis this Wed. I obviously need help.

CLARIFY, CLARIFY. I'm not disappointed at all. But I teared because while on the stage, I could see Benny was trying so hard to hold back his tears and it hurts me. I failed as a senior to pass it to them that winning is not everything. And this time, my heart truly goes out to AHS. Jiayou TMS and AHS, next year we can do it! We're going to battle it out once again. And congrats ESS for your glory.

Uploading pictures now before they ask for it. HAHA. Am I good or what, yea am.
Okay, fine. They've asked for it countless number of times. Yaya, whatever.

BOA wasn't there and BKoh was nice yesterday. Is the world coming to an end or what? What.

TMSSJAB was where it started.
The love for the jabbers.<3

2008-03-21T08:15:00.002+08:00

OKAY I'M ~~ALI~~HUNGRY. Thanks to yesterday's fever.

Yesterday was the ultimate rubbish. 8 essays when I'm having fever. Yup, my hand's still sore and I need some hand massage. Thank you, Fida(: 8 freaking essays, what the hell was the committee thinking? History was so screwable. Or just screwed. I didn't quite study much for Arab-Israeli and that explains my half-paged answer. Malay Lit was..undescribable. 5 essays in 3 hours. By the 2nd hour, I wanted to just faint. My hand was aching so, so badly I had to imagine Taufik was beside me. Okay, not only Taufik but someone else. HAHA.

Going for training later even when I'm not feeling so well. But I know it's going to be worth the pain because they're going to clinche the championship back!(:

And I'm going to see dear Gao and Cindy tomorrow, oh my, such loves.

I watched A Wedding Affair and Princess Diaries last night and I feel like getting married now. Such blonde feeling. Happy endings are irritating to some extent but it's okay, I believe I'll have a happy ending too.

Council elections on Tuesday! OMG, this only shows that it's been a year since I walked over. HAHA. Ok, time do past that fast and I'm so afraid for A's la. Which I'm contemplating if I should just give up History now. WTH, our ten million assignments aren't returned for the SA and he expects us to study model essay? ONE model essay okay. Whatever.

7 little boys and 1 big boy:D

2008-03-18T07:07:00.002+08:00

GP compre was demoralising. I refuse to believe I screwed it up. GP essay was weird. That's because all I studied didn't appear. And I studied three huge topics. WTH.

Maths consultation later and off to hospital. My paternal grandmum going through her op today. Something got to do with some growth somewhere, not cancerous.

I'm so depressed la, aiyo.

2008-03-16T12:28:00.002+08:00

I lived Friday without my handphone. I almost died because I was supposed to meet people.

I lived yesterday during training. I love the ambulance team because no matter what, their attitude is always positive. Even when they can't do push-ups or go through an obstacle during TOC. They're such loves and I know they can get back the champion title(:

I'm going to love today mugging. I've wasted the whole week doing lots and lots of stuffs other than studying.
I need the luck that I can grab.

It's painful when I dreamt of you kissing some other girl. But I hope you're happy treating me this way.

2008-03-14T16:07:00.002+08:00

I'm going to live today without my phone because I left it at home.
Thank my mum for rushing me this morning.

Going to wrap presents later and off I go for the meeting. I know I should be studying. So far only studied half of hist and a very small proportion of GP. I really don't want to screw my SA but A's is still the ultimate goal.

Long months ahead, here I come.

2008-03-12T22:48:00.002+08:00

My devilish mode didn't turn on for the camp, which indirectly means that it will turn on during council camp. HAHA. Okay, I'm kidding. Such a nice, soft-spoken person. Heh.

I'm exhausted and SA's next week. Meeting tomorrow and Friday and SA's next week. Oh wait, it's about 4 more days. G double O D J O B, good job, good job.

I'm starting to be bitter about continuing SJAB.
Tell me you can prove me wrong.

Pictures up when I feel like it.

2008-03-08T13:14:00.003+08:00

I tell you, it's so annoying that the holidays are here. Wait, I'm not into the word holiday because it doesn't feel like it is. I've got some prayers thing later at my mum's bestie's place. And camp's tomorrow. Still contemplating if I should stay over for the whole 3 nights or just for the first and last night. Or just the first. I want to study and I know I can study though I'm there but it's the night that I'm worried about. You know camps, don't you.

Competition in about less than two weeks and SA in a week. Really screwed ain't it? Their standard just dropped like so much but I know if we drill them enough, they can do it. But who has the time to drill them? I can't rely much on the OIC, he's never there. Tim's working and all I can rely on are the sec4s and 5s but I don't think they're willing to help out because it's their O's this year.

Speaking of O's. Yesterday's A's results scared the shit out of me. I always think everyone will get like As and the reality struck me when I hear people not getting any As and Bs at all. What the crap. It seriously scares the shit out of me and I'm hating myself for procrastinating much.

And last night, Dear Fik sang to me(: I'm so in love with him la. Even LB can't take over his place in my heart. But last night Dear Fik was a little over-acting when he was presenting the award. HAHA it wasn't his usual lowdown kind of personality. He was a little bit more chatty but it's okay. He gets more air-time and I get to see him more. Gosh, you don't know how much I miss him okay!
I miss him already!

2008-03-07T21:18:00.002+08:00

Slept at 2am and attempted to wake up at 4 this morning for Econs. Obviously, I didn't make it since I had very little sleep the days before.
Essay was surprisingly at the tip of my fingers because I studied for that whole topic like madness. But DRQ was a shit. Total shit.

Malay paper. I attempted an essay question which I never thought I would in my whole JC life. You know malay essay questions, without fail there will be at least one question on teenagers and that's what everyone's banging on. But I didn't choose that cos I'm sick of discussing issues about teenagers. I did on TV shows instead. My forte. HAHAHA.

Went mini shopping with Trido today. Bought a few little stuffs and am in love with the face shop's nail polishes. Got some nude colour this time.

As days go by, I spend more time in the council room. And I'm loving the place more and more. Not only the place, but the people too:D Bought huge pretty flower for Zizie because she deserves it for keeping her cool. If it was me, I'd go up to him and make sure he doesn't see the next sunrise. Poke his eyes only la, what were you thinking? LOL but then again, he's already so blinded so poking his eyes won't even affect him much. Okay, whatever eh.

My posts are so filled with nothingness that I feel like closing it down. HAHAHA.

The holidays are finally here. Camp's the day after tomorrow. Oh, I can't wait for camp. But this camp got like Sec1s so I can't be so demonic, shit. But council camp! :D I can't wait for that either. A lot of evil thoughts have been planned by the 22nd demons. Eh, I'm not that evil please. Thanks.

OMG holidays means I won't see LB.
LB is such love la<3

I need to make a confession. Although sometimes I'm so confused by what he's showing to me, I still love him all the same and my love for him grew when I realised I can understand him better now. I love Econs(:
And I'm adding that to my option of subjects to teach!

2008-03-03T20:02:00.003+08:00

Alright, got to make this short and quick.
I need to finish up history and revise econs.

I started the week like it was the first day of a new term/year. Didn't quite recall starting this year with as much spirit as I had today. I was all recharged and energised for some unfathomable reasons. And it's the last week of the term. But at least I managed to pay good attention to all the lessons today.
Productive learning, I call it.

I'm on a strict diet as of today.
Breakfast will only be four pieces of biscuit.
Lunch is 3/4 of the original size.
Dinner is 1/2 of the originial size.
More vege and less carbohdrates.
And I started my exercise routine which I'm going to follow strictly to.
(:

Don't take me for a typical aneroxic girl. I just want to live healthily.

The way you joke around makes me fall in love with you all over again.
I want you to stop it but at the same time, I don't.

2008-03-02T16:39:00.002+08:00

As I listen, secondary school kids are complaining how screwed up their life now is with the tonnes of workload they have.
And here we are complaining about the tonnes of workload we have.
As we are older, we complain about the tonnes of workload we're going to have.
The complaining doesn't stop, does it?
Some random thoughts.

I'm going to waste 2 minutes of my life typing today's post which doesn't quite some up to anything important or meaningful.

I have been procrastinating long enough. I haven't started my revision which I should two months ago and I'm still wasting time by doing a lot of unnecessary things.

Seriously, I will love you if you can remind me to study when I'm not in the mood to do so. I need the push. I need the drive.

BY THE WAY, TO MY AMAZEMENT, I REALISED I ACED MY O LEVELS MATHS LA BODOH.
After donkey years of possessing the certificate.

Why did I let myself believe that miracles could happen?

2008-02-29T21:24:00.000+08:00

I haven't gone online for like years.
Because I have been busy bitching. Haha and what link does it make? Sorry, digression.

YES, I have been awfully busy and sick for one of the nights. Weird sick, I tell you. I was in the midst of dinner and I suddenly felt that there was this sudden attack of throbbing headache, of which is the most irritating and painful parts of the human body.
So I didn't finish dinner and sat down for a while. Stoned. I rested for 5 minutes and next thing, I was puking more than what I ate for dinner. And mind you, lunch wasn't even like lunch. So most of it was like fluid. I hate the feel after puking. Like gosh, everything hurts and I had tonnes of assignments to do that night so you can guess how unproductive I was. Until now, I really have no idea why I was so sick la. My mum said I was too stressed and I was mentally exhausted. Haha but in the middle of dinner? A little bit weird right.

I'M IN THE FOOD COMMITTEE FOR COUNCIL CAMP. And you know how much that rocks? I have always been dreaming of being in messing for SJ camps so I can cook and stuff but since that didn't happen and I doubt will ever happen, I'm in the food committee. Cool stuff, okay. But too bad there's no cooking of supper or whatever. But still, FOOD COMMITTEE!:D I talk like as if I know how to cook. Lol, how I wish.

I've still yet to upload pics from Perth but I will say this: I miss my brother like crazy, though sometimes, he irritates the shit out of me. And I want to go Perth again because I miss my carefree days then! When I will play Burnout for every single night trying to unlock the cars series and eating giant packs of maltesers dark while playing. OMG, life was so good. The only missing component was friends. And being the only child there (my sis didn't come along), shopping was undescribable. I got like almost everything that I wanted except shoes. Cos my dad thought I had more than enough and he sees me in slippers to school more than in shoes.

I AM CRAVING FOR MALTESERS DARK. Dark chocolate is the new love.
And quite unsurprisingly, I have quite a bunch of new things to love as well(:

The top 6 songs in my top 25 most played list of my podie are Taufik's songs. Random, I know.

Lunched cum dinnered with Trido and James. They even accompanied me to Terrence's place la. How sweet of them right? Haha. It was a nice peaceful meal with much sharing off our families. You know, I really appreciate times spent that way because those are when the time actually stops and wait for you. You don't feel the rush and everything just goes smoothly after that.

Somehow I felt like being long winded today. But my long windedness is extremely nothingness.

If you want me to show how I really feel about this whole situation right now, talk to me and show that you sincerely care about me. I'm forward-looking and the past shall not stagnate me but being a flawed human, it is inevitable that I'm still feeling sore about it. And being a flawed human, an apology won't seem sincere (even if it is) if actions are not taken.

I need more time for revision for the SA. Blame it on myself for committing myself to everywhere. Eh, doesn't sound right but whatever.

Mrs Yew :D

2008-02-24T14:35:00.002+08:00

Now that Orientation's over, I'm still not posting about Perth. Because I'm too lazy to upload the pictures.

Orientation's over. With slightly but painful sprained ankle, bruised knees, bruised left arm and many many small cuts. Half of which, I don't know where they appeared from.

I can't recall what I want to blog about orientation. Will do so after I jot them down(:

NCOC POP yesterday. And also, Bambang's last day. I'm quite sad but happy at the same time. Cos he's got a new car. HAHA. But still, one six down. I love all six-ers. Totally.
Anyway, I was depressed la. OMG.
"Bye!"
"Bye, Ma'am. No more food!"
AHH. HAHAH. I am officially in love with a sec 4 boy. I will come down for their training if Terence makes it down. LOL. Stalker shit.

Since I think the whole world knows about it, I should just say it.
Lester is so no longer in my heart(: Because the sec4 boy took over him. OMG. Sec4, what the hell am I thinking? But really, he's such an adorable boy.

Back to NCOC POP.
"All instructors and officers help to clear them out of the school."
Oh, and we realised officers only referred to the grade 6. Grade 5 and above aren't officers. Haha, we're more like saikang warriors.
but i'm happy that we're always more bonded after every event.
BAMBANG HADI MULYONO, WE WILL SO MISS YOU LAA.

I'm happy because I realised he's so not my cup of tea.
"My friends told me he's a flirt."
and now you're with him? Don't have to stoop so low, you know.
(:

2008-02-20T20:57:00.000+08:00

I want to blog about Perth but I'm too busy (plus lazy) to upload the pictures.

Orientation was great! I didn't lose my cool though I had more than a dozen of reasons to. Probably, it's just the people around me(:
Two more days and we're done. I want it to be done but at the same time, not really be done. Okay, delirious.

I came to realise that appreciation is one of the most valuable things on earth. You can help a person by being the listening ear when the person's down and whatnots and the next thing you know, the person's turning the back against you.
DIRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM MALAY: Like the peanut forgetting its shell.
The shell helped to protect it but it forgot the important element that ensured its survival or whatever you call it.

And for that, here's my list of appreciation to the dear ones and maybe the not so dear ones.

Thank you for being the morning companion and bitching partner.
Thank you for co-operating with me though I was throwing tantrums.
Thank you for listening to my rants and whines every other day.
Thank you for tolerating my violent actions.
Thank you for playing along with my lesbian tendencies.
Thank you for singing songs which made my day. (Even if you sing the same song everyday)
Thank you for letting me entertain myself by writing on you.
Thank you for asking me to hit you to wake you up and at the same time waking me up.
Thank you for being silly every single day.
Thank you for supporting me every time you see that I'm stressed.
Thank you for those nice little hugs.
Thank you for mixing up my emotions.
Thank you for always disrupting my train of thoughts.
Thank you for the not so wonderful but will remain with me memories.
Thank you for smiling after crashing everything.
Thank you for being the bitch.
And lastly, thank you for being a part of my journey.

I MISS HONG GUO HAO.
I saw someone in college who looks exactly like him from the back. Yes Guo Hao, we'll meet each other soon! Been months, I tell you.
Suddenly I remembered his English name - Philip. Guo suits him much better than Philip.

I am going to do something for Say Yien and the Logistics Team for being the best people around to work with.
And to remind them that they are truly appreciated! :)

I miss TMS SJAB. I need to find the time to go down for training):
But I can't seem to find any.

2008-02-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

I'm happy.
Really.

What's done is done and can't be undone. Enough about that issue already.

Orientation tomorrow.
I CAN'T WAIT!

2008-02-18T21:02:00.002+08:00

usually, i get things off my chest after telling it to someone. but today, it doesn't seem to work. timothy's being the most caring soul on earth right now. but it still doesn't take the 10kg of load off my chest.

i'm worried sick thinking of what's going to happen next.

i wasn't even this upset when my relationship with zac ended. wait, i wasn't even near this amount of sadness. i really have no idea why i'm so upset about this whole thing.
maybe because i promised myself i won't let him know till prom. maybe. now's a bit too fast ain't it? i only have myself to blame.

if only azhar and shuib are here to make me laugh everything away.

just one word, sigh.

2008-02-18T20:38:00.002+08:00

Another one of those regretting moments in life. Nothing much, nothing big. Just something that's got to do with trust. I realised while walking back home that I trust people too easily, no?
I kept that piece of feeling in me for, say, more than half a year and it's all out now. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm the one to blame. I trust people too easily. But now, I've learnt and I will continue learning.

Perth was great.
Pictures not too soon.
I'm too tired.
Didn't sleep for whole flight. Watched Sydney White and did Restu.

Even if you're neutral about it, I don't think I can pretend much longer.
If only you didn't have to know.

and I thought today was a happy day):